The Twelfth Year of an Idiotic War

 So.

We are reading Grendel in March. And Grendel has decided to stroll into town to mock a blind priest.

A blind priest walks into a bar...

It sounds like the setup to a bad joke. And if we squint at it hard enough, gentle reader, I think that is precisely what it is. A bad joke. Because there is nothing else that Grendel seems to be capable of producing from his nihilistic perch.

Leave Ork alone! He's just a guy, a true believer! Why must he be mocked? What has he done to you?

We murder to dissect. 

Thank you, Uncle Wordsworth. This is true. Our humanity demands that we dissect, scrutinize, categorize, evaluate, critique. And an excitable fellow sharing thoughts on his faith seems like an easy target. 

I don't even think Grendel is fully to blame here. It is Ork's own exuberance that gets him into some trouble. "The King of the Gods is the ultimate limitation, and His existence is the ultimate irrationality." I have to wonder at Ork here. Is he attempting to merely pass the test? You know, show the Great Destroyer that he has it correct, to satisfy his God? It would make sense, being in the presence of the divine, to want to put your best foot forward, so to speak, and honor Him.

But I have to wonder: is Ork perhaps reaching a little bit too high here? Not showing off, but definitely showing out. See what I can do! Look at what I know! Yes, for your glory, but also for my own satisfaction, that I do have it right!

In any event, Grendel is taken aback by the man's conviction. Grendel is here to mock Ork, but his sarcasm dies on his lips halfway through the conversation because Ork responds with a flamethrower. He is cranked up to 11. He is literally weeping as he speaks, so overcome with emotion and belief and unrestrained passion. And that holds Grendel's attention. Grendel, the monster who is impressed by nothing, is impressed.

That's kind of cool.

No, I don't ultimately think that Ork is flirting with arrogance, nor do I really believe he is grandstanding. What I do think is that he goes for it. With everything he has. I don't think this is a life lesson to be applied everywhere. No yolo here. Because this isn't a ho-hum situation. When your God arrives in your praying circle, you express some exuberance. You give everything you have. Because that isn't the kind of thing that happens twice.

That's not something Grendel understands. Or, if he does, then he isn't interested. In either part of the equation: 1) having something that you are that invested in, or 2) exuding true blue passion when the moment is right.

I like Ork. He's a bit ridiculous, but, who cares? That criticism is the Grendel in me. Something that, I think, this novel tends to see as a detriment, not something to cultivate. 

After all, he is the monster.

Is St. John "Marble" Rivers a Sociopath?

It has been far too long, gentle reader, so let's pick the conversation back up.

Apparently in Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, our esteemed protagonist stumbles a bit after deciding to leave Thornfield---and all the potential sin-stained happiness that goes with it---and lands herself at Moor House. In addition to the easy kindness of the Rivers Sisters, Jane is confronted with the Man of Stone himself, St. John Rivers, the humble, cold, unflappable, reverent, made-of-marble cousin who spends about five chapters auditioning Jane for her role as missionary's wife. Jane resists, but just barely. My question is: what the hay, Sinjun? How is it possible for this guy to hold such sway, to literally invade Jane's being in a possessive and not unharsh way? Jane is tough; Jane is self-aware; Jane has experience in repelling unwanted advances. So what gives? In short, what makes St. John Rivers so formidable?

I wonder if we have a convenient comparison at our disposal. St. John is classically handsome, polite, understated, intelligent. In addition, he is religious and wise, dutiful and tireless. He also plays second fiddle to Rochester, at least in terms of their chronological and symbolic significance. Both for Jane and us. If the characters in Jane Eyre were treated as an order of operations, then Rochester's function would always be performed before St. John's, regardless of where the other characters fall. But this should not diminish St. John's influence. On the contrary, he is formidable, which only elevates Rochester's status. But enough of Eddie. This is supposed to be about how Marble Rivers imposes his will so effectively. He never yells (he wouldn't allow himself such a display of emotion) and he demands an almost impossible standard of Jane (he wouldn't allow himself anything less than superior levels of outcome). Jane finds herself literally weeping into her book of Hindostanee as she continues her lessons with St. John. That's crazy! She knows that she will literally die trying to appease him if she goes to India at his side. And she still considers going. That's crazy!

And Jane isn't crazy, gentle reader!

What would a convenient comparison be, then? Who fits the bill as demanding task master? Stone cold and yet motivating to the point of perishing? Clearly symbolism abounds: it is Rochester's Fire, his provocative and self-deprecating manner that wins Jane over, not St. John's Ice, his overly rational and underly emotional capacity for fellowship. Rochester wants an equal; St. John wants an asset. And while his own brand of charisma ultimately fails, it only just fails. St. John could be the ultimate display of a singular and righteous focus, a man of ultimate principle. Or he could be a sociopath, masquerading as a clergyman. I don't throw the term around loosely. Sociopaths can be very persuasive, very charismatic. They can also be very detached, very misunderstanding of typical human perceptions and responses. The text doesn't lie: St. John feels things and then represses them. He knows all about Rosamund's affection and his own reaction to it. So I really don't think he's a bonafide sociopath, nor do I think that Bronte wrote him as one. After all, the book doesn't really go to any great lengths to explore mental illness...

MLA Formatting: Quotations

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35 minutes, 44 questions...

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If you keep scrolling down on the page, you will come to this scoring chart.

TO USE:
1. How many questions did you answer correctly? Find that number in the Raw Score column.
2. Follow the row over to find the corresponding Reading Test Score or Writing and Language Test score. Multiply by 10 to compute your overall score for that particular test.
3. Repeat the process for the other test.
4. Add scores together for your SAT English score. 800 is the best.

Raw Score (# of correct answers)	Reading Test Score	Writing and Language Test Score
38	32	34
39	32	35
40	33	36
41	33	37
42	34	38
43	35	39
44	35	40
45	36
46	37
47	37
48	38
49	38
50	39
51	40
52	40