What are you reading, gentle reader? Anything other than the ticker feed at the bottom of ESPN? Something longer than 140 characters at a time? Perhaps a chunk of text that comes above the COMMENTS section?
What?
How about Vince Flynn's The Last Man or Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach. How about that one book you've read every summer since you were twelve. Those count, you know.
What?
How about Gatsby. Again?
What?
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Saturday, July 5, 2014
A Very Guilty Pleasure
So I found myself watching Bloodsport on TV a few nights ago. You know Bloodsport, that 1988 action thriller starring Jean-Claude Van Damme as Frank Dux, the "American" trying to win the Kumite. What's a Kumite? I can't help you. Perhaps in another blog, gentle reader. Anyway, Bloodsport has all the ingredients of a late '80s movie that makes my wife roll her eyes in polite, I-suffer-this-awfulness-on-my-television-because-I-love-you-but-you-can't-make-me-watch-it disdain:
1. a backstory about loyalty, impossible odds, and crazy non sequiturs
2. a terrible Belgian accent from the American protagonist
3. characters wearing tank-tops tucked into khakis, on purpose
4. an inspirational 80's pop rock song about 2/3s of the way into the film
5. really fantastic and absolutely realistic kung fu, complete with back to back roundhouse kicks in slow motion that would make Pat Swayze from Roundhouse blush
I have no excuse. It's a terrible movie. And I can't not watch it. Like Roadhouse, or Gone in 60 seconds or Happy Gilmore. I am a grown man. I should know better. But I don't care. In light of it being July 5, I am feeling incredibly patriotic and free, so I want to celebrate myself. Like Whitman, I want to loaf and celebrate me. Do I contradict myself? Oh well.
Some favorite lines:
"Ok USA!"
"What the hell's a dim mack?"
"Very impressive. But brick not hit back."
That last one comes from the fighter-villain Chong Li, a non-English speaker, so don't hold the poor syntax against him. He's trying to intimidate Van-Damme's character. Of course, we all know that Van-Damme's characters can never be intimidated. They don't threaten. Because of the roundhouses.
I'm curious. What are your guilty pleasures? I love this topic, because it gives us a chance to breathe easy, side-step any literary or Hollywood heavy lifting, and just kick around some titles of entertainment. How summer is that?
By the way, I am finishing Ian McEwan's Saturday. Because reading in the summer is allowed...
1. a backstory about loyalty, impossible odds, and crazy non sequiturs
2. a terrible Belgian accent from the American protagonist
3. characters wearing tank-tops tucked into khakis, on purpose
4. an inspirational 80's pop rock song about 2/3s of the way into the film
5. really fantastic and absolutely realistic kung fu, complete with back to back roundhouse kicks in slow motion that would make Pat Swayze from Roundhouse blush
I have no excuse. It's a terrible movie. And I can't not watch it. Like Roadhouse, or Gone in 60 seconds or Happy Gilmore. I am a grown man. I should know better. But I don't care. In light of it being July 5, I am feeling incredibly patriotic and free, so I want to celebrate myself. Like Whitman, I want to loaf and celebrate me. Do I contradict myself? Oh well.
Some favorite lines:
"Ok USA!"
"What the hell's a dim mack?"
"Very impressive. But brick not hit back."
That last one comes from the fighter-villain Chong Li, a non-English speaker, so don't hold the poor syntax against him. He's trying to intimidate Van-Damme's character. Of course, we all know that Van-Damme's characters can never be intimidated. They don't threaten. Because of the roundhouses.
I'm curious. What are your guilty pleasures? I love this topic, because it gives us a chance to breathe easy, side-step any literary or Hollywood heavy lifting, and just kick around some titles of entertainment. How summer is that?
By the way, I am finishing Ian McEwan's Saturday. Because reading in the summer is allowed...
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