The Real World Admittedly Anxious, Unsure About Readiness to be Entered by This Year's Grads

With annual graduation deadlines looming around the nation, the Real World admitted to sources yesterday that he is just not sure if he's ready.

"I just don't know if I'm there yet," he said in an informal press conference held at his home. "I mean, look at this place. There's just a ton of stuff to do around here, and those graduates are coming, ready or not."

"Actually, I could use a little help," he added, holding out a Swiffer.

Census data shows just how much of the country's economic success rides on these graduates entering, and no one feels this pressure more acutely than the Real World.

"Look, it's a no-brainer," he said as he snapped another yellow latex glove over his knuckles. "I know what's at stake. I know those graduates expect to enter. But look at that oven grease. It's not going to clean itself."

Despite the heavy workload that he is expected to shoulder each late spring, the Real World does concede that things aren't as bad as they seem.

"It used to be worse," he said. "Back in the '70s and '80s, the fashionable thing to do was to 'go hit the Real World.' Well, I can tell you, that was a dark period in my life."

"Do you like being punched?" he asked. "It's a rhetorical question. I still can't lift my left arm fully over my head. Even with the rehab."

But the Real World is optimistic about this year's timetable.

"I got an early start," he said transferring the laundry from the washer to the dryer. "I marathoned all my favorite shows on Netflix this year, so I honestly didn't have anything else to do."

"Don't you worry about me," he stated. "I'll be ready."

Time Stamp #15

Only 3 months until Beowulf.

That's Elmo's World

So. There is a Hamlet reference in an episode of Elmo's World in which the classic character "Kingfish" signs off at the end of the episode by saying "[a]dieu. Remember me."

Just like King Hamlet! The old Ghost-King from Act 1!

That makes it all worth it.

Literature does have a fundamentally essential place in this world.

It will help you in a very tangible and quantifiable way.

In the real world as opposed to the fake one.

Because let's be clear. If you didn't catch that reference (in the biz, we call that an allusion, young gentle reader) then surely you would fail to grasp the intricacies of that final moment in that one episode starring that one furry red puppet-monster.

And we wouldn't want that. That's what we're about here. Saving you. One totally random allusion at a time.