1. Jay Gatsby says he will "try to steer clear of dangerous women who cry over men's apparel."
2. Beowulf resolves nothing. For there is nothing to resolve. (Enter Chuck Norris joke here only substitute "Beowulf" for "Chuck Norris")
3. Ma Joad says she plans to feed her family "less carbs and more proteins" this coming year.
4. Boo Radley would have said "to get out more" had he actually been contacted for this list.
5. Rosencrantz resolves to "ask more questions" especially in the presence of insane royal people.
6. Daisy Buchanan says she wants to cry less around men and their shirts. To which Holden Caulfield replies"stop being so damn phony" at which Daisy starts to cry. Holden gets depressed and goes off to find the ducks.
7. Beowulf changes his mind and decides to kill a dragon and leave his country defenseless this year.
8. Montag says he will come up with a nickname to avoid further confusion over long and short vowel sounds.
9. Victor Frankenstein resolves to tamper with the natural order of life and death "just one more time."
10. Ophelia decides to "not worry" about those swimming lessons.
11. The Joads resolve to join AAA.
ReplyDelete-Mrs. Non-doer
12. Happy Loman decides that maybe he'll settle down, because he accomplished his resolution last year of "losing weight."
ReplyDelete-Ms. It'sroughbeingtheforgottenchild