Important Reminder:

Daisy Buchanan is the worst.

2nd Semester = Official AP Exam Prep

It is fair to say that with the start of second semester comes a sincere look at AP test preparation. This is accompanied by a whole host of emotions ranging from slight anxiety to vomitous panic to megalomaniacal arrogance. (That last one doesn't really exist; just wanted to use the word.)

I have learned of a website called Learnerator that has some good stuff. I encourage you to check it out and start the madness.

Happy clicking.

In other news, Steinbeck is awesome. Any rumblings to the contrary are simply untrue. Remember, gentle reader, sometimes different means wrong.

"I like the third Hunger Games book this much."

Driving in a Winter Wonderland

There are three kinds of Winter Weather drivers. Now I'm talking about snow on the ground, icy patches, there are probably cars in the ditch somewhere Winter Weather conditions:

1. The Deer In Headlights: scared beyond all recognition, camped out in the left lane of the expressway, driving 18 miles per hour, unmovable. This person is still wearing the hat, scarf, mittens combo first put on to scrape off the windshield. It is now 88 degrees inside the vehicle, evidenced by the fogged out windows, but Deer does not mind. Nay, Deer does not even notice. Deer bothers Professional Non-Doer because Deer refuses to move over to the right-hand lane, even though it is perfectly plowed.

2. The Honey Badger with AWD: mad as all get out that your vehicle is in his (her) way because in front of you is the vacant space of about 5 meters before hitting the next car. And the next car. And the next car. And Honey Badger is mad at them as well. You see, HB has to prove that his (her) car is awesome in the snow, so to prove this awesomeness, HB does things in the snow that he (she) wouldn't do on a sunny summer day. Because we haven't seen the ads on TV illustrating the non-skid capabilities of a Nissan Maxima or Chevy Malibu. And we aren't familiar with the traction of a Jeep Cherokee or Land Rover. And so Honey Badger shows us all of these things in real life. This bugs Professional Non-Doer because no matter how many times HB veers into the right lane and pulls up alongside and then falls back behind into the left lane to tailgate, Professional Non-Doer cannot transmute space, time, or the wall of car bumpers stacked up in front of him out of the way. Sorry Honey Badger.

3. Everybody else: just trying to get to work (or wherever) in one piece. If that means traveling at or below the speed limit, so be it. If that means driving in the only plowed lane of a two-lane highway for big stretches of the trip, even behind someone traveling slower than we might, so be it. If that means leaving earlier and not at the same time or (just to tempt the Fates) later than usual, so be it. If that ultimately means arriving late because sometimes it has to happen to ensure safety rather than beating on the steering wheel and pointing maliciously at fellow drivers through the fogged out windows of a car that is still entirely covered in snow except for a 4X5 portal wiped off the windshield and tearing by someone only to cut them off to prove some ideal of galactic importance and deciding to turn onto heavily trafficked streets not because there is space to do so but because you decided that you have waited long enough, so be it.

Assignment: Place Daisy Buchanan in the appropriate category and explain why.

Ready, Steady, Go: Short Stories

Our short stories list, with some links to full text:


The Story of an Hour by Kate Chopin
A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor
The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Babylon Revisited by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Cask of Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe
A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner
Happy Endings by Margaret Atwood


We have a small journal activity to push us through, but let's keep it simple: our task here is to kick that literary space heater part of our brains back into action. So let us haggle with the language, let us sort out plot from theme, and let us write, write, write about it.

AP Final Essay: Intros and Thesis Statements

Defining Hamlet is not necessarily about providing a list of adjectives. Hamlet is a complex character; your list could be quite long and provide few organized ideas about the man. Instead, defining Hamlet is more about moving one characteristic or role or title to the head of the line. Hamlet the Son or Hamlet the Avenger or Hamlet the Lover. Better yet, qualify these titles. Hamlet the Honorable Son; Hamlet the Lazy Avenger; etc. Remember, we still want the list of adjectives because we do not want to ignore the complexity. Instead, we want to filter these descriptions through your provided title.

Ex: If Hamlet is a lazy avenger, then we will observe the many times he procrastinates. That's easy. In addition to this, however, we must qualify the moments where Hamlet shows progress, good old-fashioned forward momentum, and perhaps the central ideas in the second and fourth soliloquies.

Now, gentle student, all of this leads us to our opening paragraph. How to begin? What to say in that very first sentence? Some suggestions:

DO NOT begin this essay with a generalization announcing how complex characters can be many things to many people. They can; we know; you can do better.

DO announce your central idea in general terms. (Ex: If Hamlet is lazy, then you may begin with a comment on laziness; if Hamlet is dishonorable, then you may want to comment on dishonor, etc.)

DO NOT begin this essay remarking how Hamlet the play or William Shakespeare the author is known far and wide as the best of the best, and how you agree with this. They are; we know; you can do better.

DO announce both the title of the play and its author somewhere before your thesis.

Finally, DO create a thesis that clearly states what your chosen definition (your characteristic, role, title, etc.) is, perhaps why it emerges as the primary defining trait.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

"Define Hamlet"

Maybe it is a rotten prompt for an essay. But maybe not, gentle student. Outside of the fact that any writing prompt this time of year is awful, maybe not. Because this one allows for a lot of wiggle room, because Hamlet is vast.

Does he contradict himself? Very well then, he contradicts himself. He is large. He contains multitudes.

Thank you, Uncle Walt, well said. Because the truth of the matter is: Hamlet has much depth. There are several character traits, both strengths and flaws, consistent and irrationally not, to discover and discuss. There are mountains and mountains of scholarship dedicated to this very thing, that of all Shakespeare's creations, Hamlet just might be the most human. And, therefore, for our services, the best character to plumb.

And before we get swallowed up by the options, let us organize. A few tips to get you started and thinking in the right direction:

1. If you had to describe Hamlet in a word, what's the word? How about for just Act 1? How about for just Act 1 scene 5 while talking with his ghost-dad? How about a second word (or synonym) for just Act 1 scene 5 while talking with ghosty? How about for his second soliloquy? How about for his third? And a synonym? And another synonym? Make a list.

Finally, how about organizing all of these words? Which words corroborate? Which contradict? Is it a contradiction? How can we qualify these contradictions? If we take this tip seriously, then the connections you make here will write the paper.

2. Visit the "Hamlet" tab on this blog. It's more than just the full text of the play; embedded within are several clips from several different versions of the play. Drama is meant to be seen. Go watch.

Next up: introduction paragraphs and thesis statements

Top Ten Things We Want to Hear Hamlet Say to his Ghost Dad

1. "You know what else is most horrible? Thy breath. Tic-tac, sir."

2. "Do you think I'll get two Christmas gifts from Claudius this year?"

3. "Can I get some money to go see Mockingjay?"

4. "Yes, they made it into two parts. This is only part one. Yes, just like Harry Potter. And The Hobbit."

5. "Wait, you're a Harry Potter fan?"

6. "Did you know how to pronounce Her-my-oh-knee before you heard it in the movies? Me neither, for like three books. Man, that was a murder most foul."

7. "See the thing is, I like Claudius better."

8. "What's a Lethe wharf?"

9. "If there's something strange, in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call?"

10. "I didn't understand a thing you just said. Hold on, I've got my footnotes right here..."